Big Boys Don't Cry is a podcast in which Paddy Johnston and Rob Gordon discuss romantic films.
It’s October, and you know what that means…a month of spoooooky romance! First up is intriguing and highly original zombie romance Warm Bodies, which surprised us both in a good way. We also discuss butt songs, the Conservative Party Conference, and David Hasslehoff’s recent career developments.
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Honky Tonk Badonkadonk (workout remix)
This episode is our Autumn kick-off episode, so we watched a Hallmark original film that’s set on a sexy pumpkin farm! The film turned out to be so forgettable that we couldn’t recall much of it, so we spent most of the episode talking about root vegetables, Alec Guinness and the majesty of the disco-country classic song ‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk,’ which truly has to be heard to be believed.
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This week’s episode escalated incredibly quickly, as we find Paddy defending catfishing, and Rob having a good old fashioned rant about the Netflix original film Sierra Burgess is a Loser. We also discuss Trump’s mushroom, Gerard Depardieu, and Apple’s stupid new phones, and come up with yet another epic new film idea: Cyrano de Bandcamp.
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What your top five, all time favourite John Cusack films? One of them has to be High Fidelity! On this episode we discuss how much we were pleasantly surprised by it and how well it has aged, and we also talk Fortnite, James Bond, Austin Powers, Hanif Kureishi and how you should tell everyone Die Hard is your favourite Christmas Film if you want them to think you are cool and manly.
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Now that we’ve broken the 69 barrier we can get back to watching good films, and we’re starting as we mean to go on with the so-hot-right-now To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before! We also discuss Steve Bannon, mummified cheese, 18 certificate films and how everything is a political act.
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Welcome to our nicest episode yet, and also the episode which sets the new record for our lowest rated film! We watched the whole Fifty Shades trilogy so you don’t have to. Listen if you dare.
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It’s finally time for us to get down with Wes Anderson, as we take a deep dive into the coast of the beautiful islands of his cult film Moonrise Kingdom. We also discuss motorsports, TOCA Touring Cars, Rebecca Black, and pay tribute to Tom Selleck, the greatest man who ever lived.
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How long could you survive on alone on a spaceship before becoming a weird creep? Hopefully longer than Chris Pratt in Passengers! We do a deep dive into this interesting and flawed film on this episode, and also discuss Silvio Berlusconi, Daft Punk, Jurassic World and James Gunn.
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Neither of us can sleep in this heat, so we decided to watch Sleepless in Seattle! We come up with a new film idea, Opposite Day, celebrate Rob’s birthday, and also discuss DVD commentaries, Chumbawumba and Jona Lewie.
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In a vain attempt to combat the ongoing UK heatwave, we decided to watch a film involving snow this week, so that’s how we ended up with Chalet Girl! We also discuss stripping wallpaper, 90s fashion, Danny Dyer’s future career, and dancing to Gregorian chant.
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Stop all the clocks! It’s time to take a trip back to 1994, when the Super Nintendo was the best console, and Richard Curtis smashed the box office with Four Weddings and a Funeral. We discuss Paddy’s heat-related meanness, vanilla ice cream, ‘adequate food,’ angry owls, and have a long debate about the Harry Potter universe and whether wizards are actually bad people.
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This week’s episode is all about the trashy romantic comedy P.S. I Love You, a film which has given us the biggest difference between Rob and Paddy’s ratings in the history of this podcast. We also talk Irish stereotypes, thin-skinned billionaires, and TERFs.
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We’re in love with The Shape of Water! Guillermo Del Toro’s Oscar-winning masterpiece is our film of choice this week, so we talk in-depth about romance between man and fish. We also discuss the chaos in the Tory party, the bigger chaos of the Brexit bin fire, and Paddy is forced once again to be a Sheeran apologist. Key Lime Pie is debated, as is Dog the Bounty Hunter.
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Stolen Trailer (Nicolas Ca-aage)
It’s time for another Netflix original this week, as we hit the recently uploaded romantic comedy Set it Up! We talk about how Netflix’s original comedies compare with their series and documentaries, bring back the Scooby Doo chat, talk about Love Island, and celebrate the joy of fake baseball player names from old Japanese video games.
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We return to podcast favourite Julia Stiles this week with a discussion of Save the Last Dance, a film neither of us had seen before and a classic MTV production. We also spend a lot of time discussing Elon Musk and The Wire, count down to Paddy’s birthday, and exploring our options for future podcast sponsorship.
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Things can only get better this week, as we follow the lowest rated film in podcast history with a much better film: 21 Jump Street! We talk dumb action comedies, Ice Cube, pop music’s confusion around getting up and getting down, explosions, and doves.
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Hold on to your swimming trunks, romance fans…it’s the lowest rated film in podcast history this week, as we watch Baywatch (2017)! We discuss Rock The Dwayne Johnson and The Efronator at length, and also talk about body fascism, Love Island, entitled stans, the fucking World Cup, Rob’s Twitter fame, and what Jean-Luc Godard should be doing in the twilight of his career (hint: working with Justin Bieber).
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Want to party like it’s 1999? Then don’t watch this movie! This week we’re disappointed by forgettable late 90s mediocrity bomb Never Been Kissed. We also talk Paul Dacre, SOLO: A Star Wars Story, Seinfeld, turning 30, how we can secretly stay in the EU after Brexit, and we give an update on the #CageChallenge prize.
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Do you wanna go? Do you? We do! This week’s episode is all about bombastic, fake nonsense, as we discuss The Greatest Showman. We also talk about musicals in general, adapting from the stage to the screen, the Air Bud Cinematic Universe, and Rob has unpopular opinions about Baz Luhrmann.
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Still hanging over from the Royal Wedding, this week it’s all about fakery as we discuss the underrated Ryan Gosling film Lars and the Real Girl. We also talk royalism, eating swans, creepypasta, Adam Sandlerisms, and Paddy’s somewhat harebrained theory that no film with the name of the central character in the title ever does as well as it should.
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